she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
