Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
pray to the hookup gods
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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