Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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