I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Drunk is not a location!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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