I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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