Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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