was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Farmville is her only friend.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
