I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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