physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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