so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
