Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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