Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
