i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
