Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
