Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Come see our sink grown plant.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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