I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
