Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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