she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
