but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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