I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
