For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Terrible idea I love it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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