How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
