I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
