And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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