You really coming over, don't trick.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
