actually, I'm a sock model
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
