My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Acid is not a monday night drug
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
