is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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