hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
