suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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