the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
