I showed him my bush... on skype.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
