we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
