so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
