I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
