I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
