PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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