On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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