Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
