i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We left the knife in your bed.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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