i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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