And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
