She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
