He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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