We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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