Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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