Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?

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(914): View more from New York

Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life

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(912): View more from Georgia

just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people

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(+61): View more from Australia

I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"

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(404): View more from Georgia

So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My penis has like 3 people bidding on it

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(517): View more from Michigan

dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.

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