This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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