Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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