Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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