we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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