dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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