Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
