I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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