I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
