it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You smell like stripper and shame
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You did what with his pubic hair?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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