i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
