Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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